Here's an excerpt taken from: www.childhelp.org
"A thoughtful grandmother gave a very nice, cuddly teddy bear to a member of the Childhelp staff, with instructions to pass it on to a child at a Childhelp facility. A six-year-old girl was selected to receive the gift. A staff member, who is male, asked the girl if she would like to have the teddy bear. Her eyes lit up and an excited smile appeared instantly on her little face. Then, as quickly as the excitement materialized, a cloud of fear passed over her face. Her eyes darted anxiously around the room, silently asking, "What do I have to do to get the bear?" Sensing what was on her mind, the staff member told her that if she liked the bear, she could have it. She didn't have to do anything at all, but just take it. Her eyes turned to another Childhelp staff member she had come to trust. Her eyes asked if it was okay to take the bear. The second staff member nodded, smiling approval. The child reached out and took the bear. "Will I ever have to give it back to you?" she asked. "Never," he answered. The little girl hugged her new friend and ran down the hall to show the other children. She explained to them that she'd never have to give the bear back, no matter what. It was hers "just because" it was hers.. ."
These days, I am shocked at the number of child murder and abuse cases that I am watching in the Indian news channels. The latest is the Arushi murder case- what a terrible tragedy! Another horrendous story is the one that was aired today- a Dalit woman and her daughter stripped naked and paraded on the street. The reason? The mother had spurned advances made by men from 'higher castes'.
When I was a child, I lived for a couple of years in Pune. We had a Telugu couple as neighbors. They had a daughter, but they always had wanted a son. This was reason enough for them to start abusing Prema (name changed). We'd find Prema in school with bruises all over her hands and legs. When asked how she got them, the eight year old would reply that she had fallen down in her house.
One day she came with a discolored triangular burn mark on her arm. As usual, when asked about it, she quietly replied that she had touched a hot iron by mistake. I told my mum about it and in the evening, mum and a few friends visited the couple's house. In the kitchen, mum found a steel ladle which had one end in the shape of a triangle. The lady was using it to turn Rotis (Indian bread) to cook them in the pan. Mum noticed that the shape of Prema's burn mark was the same.
Mum and her friends asked the lady why they were torturing their daughter. She simply shrugged and said that daughters were a curse and they should have had a son.
I really do not know what happened to my friend. But it makes me wonder quite often. If there was the concept of foster homes those days (or if they were popular enough) I am sure Prema would have done better in one (or, would she?). But I can never forget the sheer callousness of Prema's parents.
It is really important to counsel and treat the children, as Childhelp.org is obviously doing. However, we tend to leave the parents alone- but they need counseling too. What's going on in their minds, one wonders.
The saddest part of child abuse by parents is that children are so bonded to the parents that they feel guilty to utter a word about them. And that keeps it all under wraps.
I'm wondering what I can possibly do to make a difference to a child's life. If you are thinking on the same lines, then contact me either by commenting to this blog or by sending mail to : kandula.manjula@gmail.com
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