I am not the do-er

For a tiny place called 'home'

For some time now, I have been helping a neighbor search for another apartment as the one he currently lives in had become dark and dismal after a builder decided to erect a multi-storeyed building adjoining his house, blocking air and sunlight which otherwise streamed through the windows.

Real estate prices are skyrocketing in Bangalore. It is, after all, India's IT city, reputed to have a salubrious climate despite global warming. Not really quake prone, although one personally quakes every now and then with alarming traffic snarls.

So there we were, shopping for an affordable aparment which is not necessarily a long haul from the office, the mall, the movie theater or the fruit market. Large enough to hold a small family, small enough to maintain. Good approach roads. The works. This went on for days.

Then yesterday, he suddenly stopped in his tracks on the pavement, looked at me and said "I need to rethink this idea of buying another flat. What if I die before I pay up the loan?"

I must admit, death is something that we all think of, every now and then. But we never even doubt that we would be picking up the morning milk packet lying at the doorstep the next day. We take it for granted that when it happens, it won't be so soon.

I did not say much yesterday during our conversation. But I did go home and take out a large blue diary. I began reading my notes on the Ashtavakra Gita.

Gurudev Sri Sri Ravishankar has called the Ashtavakra Gita "the most unique conversation that has taken place on this planet". The Ashtavakra Gita documents the unveiling of the highest knowledge from a saint to a wise king many thousands of years ago.

Through a series of taped lectures Sri Sri Guruji shows how, step-by-step, King Janaka is taken to deeper levels of understanding and how we can apply this knowledge to our own lives.

The lectures were originally held in 1991, in Bangalore Ashram. Guruji had a group of devoted followers who attended his talks.

I had taken notes from these tape which were recently aired at a nearby school. Every day for 30 days, I would walk in the frosty morning hours, armed with a pen and an exercise book, eagerly waiting to see Guruji's glowing face as he so beautifully articulated the message.

I read a page from the book. We feel we have it all. We feel that everything is in our control. Which is why we fear. Because we are afraid of losing control. But clearly spiritual scriptures indicate that we are not the 'do-ers'. And yet it takes great effort to 'let go'.

Even surrender has a way and a method. Every page of my notes on the Ashtavakra Gita had a lesson and surprisingly enough, I experience each lesson day by day. I am truly amazed.

I had a lesson to learn from my friend's alarming words yesterday. I closed my book and smiled at him and told him not to worry. About life, about death, and least of all, about an elusive apartment in a place called Bangalore...